I have been facilitating workshops in youth organizations for almost 15 years. Inevitably, when organizations learn about what we do, I am asked to deliver a workshop on behavior management strategies. The perception is that challenging behaviors are what make work in afterschool programs most difficult. While there is some truth to this statement, the approach of managing behavior is outdated. Afterschool staff often seek behavior management skills and training to create a positive learning environment and handle disruptive behavior effectively.

I reject the concept of "behavior management" on principle, and here's why:

1. The Focus is on Control Over Understanding

The phrase "behavior management" inherently suggests a need to control or manipulate behavior to fit a desired norm. This approach can neglect the underlying reasons behind a child's actions. Behaviors often signal unmet needs, and understanding these needs is crucial for fostering positive behavior.

Example: Imagine a child who frequently disrupts the class by speaking out of turn. Traditional behavior management might involve giving the child a warning or a timeout. However, a more understanding approach might reveal that the child is acting out due to anxiety or a need for attention. By addressing the underlying cause—perhaps by giving the child more positive attention or addressing their anxiety—the behavior can change in a more meaningful and lasting way. This shift not only improves classroom behavior management but also enhances the overall learning environment.

2. Adult POWER is at the Forefront

"Management" implies a hierarchical relationship where the adult is the manager, and the child is the subordinate. This creates a power imbalance where children lack voice and choice. Shifting the focus from management to partnership and collaboration fosters more positive, trusting, and respectful relationships between adults and young people.

Example: Consider a situation where a child refuses to participate in a group activity. A traditional approach might be to force the child to join or punish them for non-compliance. Instead, a collaborative approach would involve sitting down with the child to understand their reluctance and finding a compromise or alternative that respects the child’s feelings and autonomy, perhaps by offering them a different role in the activity that feels more comfortable. This method aligns with effective classroom management strategies that emphasize student engagement and a positive classroom environment.

3. Emphasis is on PUNISHMENT Over GUIDANCE

Traditional behavior management strategies often rely on rewards and punishments. While these methods may yield short term compliance, they do little to instill long-term values or intrinsic motivation.  Instead, if we focus on guidance and positive reinforcement, we help our young people understand the consequences of their actions, identify, and express their emotions, and develop internal regulation. Moving away from behavior management towards a more holistic approach supports children in becoming independent, thoughtful, and empathetic young people and adults.

Example: If a child completes their homework, a traditional reward-based system might give them a sticker. If they don’t, they might lose recess time. Instead, a guidance-based approach would involve discussing the importance of homework, helping the child set personal goals, and offering support to overcome obstacles, thus fostering a sense of responsibility and internal motivation. Positive reinforcement and clear expectations are essential elements of an effective classroom management system.

4. The Approach Lacks INDIVIDUALIZATION

Every child is unique, and a one-size-fits-all approach common in behavior management strategies doesn't account for individual differences. Factors such as temperament, developmental stage, and personal experiences significantly influence behavior. By advocating for an individualized approach, we consider each child's specific context and needs.

Example: Two children might exhibit the same disruptive behavior but for very different reasons. One child might be acting out due to a difficult home environment, while another might be bored because the material is too easy for them. An individualized approach would address these distinct needs differently—perhaps through counseling for the first child and more challenging assignments for the second. This is particularly important for students with disabilities and those in special education, who often require individual behavior plans tailored to their unique needs.

Moving Forward: A New Approach

As we move forward, let’s prioritize understanding, empathy, and individualized approaches over control and punishment. By focusing on the whole child and fostering positive relationships, we can create environments where all students thrive. Effective management is not about controlling behavior but about creating spaces where students feel safe, respected, and motivated to learn. This approach not only benefits the students but also enriches the learning experiences for all involved.

It is unequivocally time to retire the term "behavior management" and to release the persistent desire for behavior management strategies. Instead, let’s embrace approaches that recognize the complex, multifaceted nature of human behavior. This shift requires a process of unlearning. When I survey adults who work in afterschool programs, most were raised in environments where behavior management strategies were the norm—adults had the power. It is understandable, then, that when these same adults begin working with youth, they model what they were taught. Once they learn new mindsets and approaches, adults can begin to shift how they engage with young people.