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I remember when my youngest son was in 1st grade. We went to back-to-school night where the teacher showed us a chart like the one pictured above. I remember having a visceral dislike of that chart. I also remember hoping my child never ended up on the bottom. He was a “spirited” child so I could immediately imagine all the behaviors that would land him in trouble. The chart was anxiety-producing for me as the parent. I can’t imagine how it feels for young people.
I have spent years working with adults who work with youth both in day schools and in afterschool. Time and time again I am asked to provide behavior management training. I know that what people really want is a way to support young people in developing their capacity to manage their own behavior. Where we miss the mark, though, is creating external tools for behavior management rather than focusing on intrinsic understanding and development.
Traditionally, behavior management systems have been designed to control student behavior. However, these systems are outdated and often ineffective. Behavior management charts like the one pictured demonstrates an emphasis on rewards and punishments. Instead, a more human-centered approach focuses on understanding the root causes of behavior, fostering positive relationships, and emphasizing guidance over punishment. In this post, we will explore why traditional behavior management systems are flawed and advocate for a more empathetic and individualized approach.
Behavior management systems are structured approaches designed to promote positive behavior and address challenging behaviors in youth settings. These systems typically involve a set of rules, procedures, and practices aimed at maintaining order and discipline. However, the very foundation of these systems is built on control and compliance, which can overlook the deeper needs and individual differences of students.
The phrase "behavior management" inherently suggests a need to control or manipulate student behavior to fit a desired norm. The concept evolved from the theory of behaviorism 100 years ago. In essence, psychologists at the time believed that behavior could be conditioned through rewards and punishment. Psychologist John Watson said “Any person, regardless of their background, can be trained to act in a particular manner given the right conditioning.”
How does it make you feel when you read that?
This approach neglects the underlying reasons behind a child's actions. Behaviors often signal unmet needs, and managing behavior without understanding these needs is short-sighted.
Example:
Imagine a child who frequently disrupts your program by speaking out of turn. Traditional behavior management might involve giving the child a warning or a timeout. However, a more understanding approach might reveal that the child is acting out due to anxiety or a need for attention. By addressing the underlying cause—perhaps by giving the child more positive attention or addressing their anxiety—the behavior can change in a more meaningful and lasting way.
"Management" implies a hierarchical relationship where the adult is the manager, and the child is the subordinate. This creates a power imbalance where children lack voice and choice. Shifting the focus from management to partnership and collaboration fosters more positive, trusting, and respectful relationships between adults and young people.
Example:
Consider a situation where a child refuses to participate in a group activity. A behavior management approach might be to force the child to join or punish them for non-compliance. Instead, a collaborative approach involves sitting down with the child to understand their reluctance and finding a compromise or alternative that respects the child’s feelings and autonomy, perhaps by offering them a different role in the activity that feels more comfortable. In this example we prioritize youth agency over adult power.
Traditional behavior management strategies often rely on rewards and punishments. While these methods may yield short-term compliance, they do little to instill long-term values or intrinsic motivation.
Example:
If a child “behaves” during an activity, a traditional reward-based system might give them a sticker. If they don’t, they might lose outside time or be threatened with a call home. Instead, a guidance-based approach involves discussing the root causes of the behavior and the impact on others, thus fostering a sense of responsibility, self-awareness and internal motivation.
Every child is unique, and a one-size-fits-all approach common in behavior management systems doesn't account for individual differences. Factors such as temperament, developmental stage, culture and personal experiences significantly influence behavior. Advocating for an individualized approach means considering each child's specific context and needs.
Example:
Two children might exhibit the same disruptive behavior but for very different reasons. One child might be acting out due to a difficult home environment, while another might be bored because they are not interested in the activity presented. An individualized approach would address these distinct needs differently—perhaps through relationship-building for the first child and new and varied activities for the second. In this approach, each child feels seen and appreciated for who they are.
Given the limitations of traditional behavior management systems, it's essential to shift our focus to a more modern approach that emphasizes understanding, empathy, and individualization.
Instead of merely controlling behavior, adults should strive to understand the root causes of students' actions. This involves looking beyond the surface and considering factors such as mental health, home environment, and developmental needs. Effective behavior management systems should first prioritize understanding these underlying issues.
Moving away from a power-based dynamic to one of partnership and collaboration fosters trust and respect. When students feel valued and heard, they are more likely to exhibit positive behavior and engage in everything an afterschool environment offers.
Punishment may yield short-term compliance, but it doesn't teach long-term values or skills. By focusing on guidance and support, adults can help students develop self-regulation, empathy, and a sense of responsibility. This involves using positive reinforcement and constructive feedback to guide behavior.
Recognizing that each child is unique requires a tailored approach. This means being flexible and adaptable in strategies, considering each child's specific needs and circumstances. Individualized plans can address specific behavioral issues while supporting overall development.
Adults in afterschool programs need training to shift from traditional behavior management systems to this new approach. Many adults want a new approach, but don’t have the knowledge. Professional development should focus on creating positive environments and understanding and supporting youth behavior.
Involve students in the process of creating a positive environment to ensure they feel ownership and accountability.
Building strong partnerships with families, day schools and communities is essential. Regular communication and collaboration can help align home, school and afterschool approaches, providing a consistent support system for students. This alignment can reduce disruptions and negative behavior.
Traditional behavior management systems are outdated and often ineffective. By shifting our focus to understanding, empathy, guidance, and individualization, we can create educational environments where students feel safe, valued, and capable of growth. This approach not only addresses behavioral issues more effectively but also fosters the development of independent, thoughtful, and empathetic individuals. As adults, it is our responsibility to embrace this modern approach and ensure our young people thrive emotionally, socially and academically.
I remember when my youngest son was in 1st grade. We went to back-to-school night where the teacher showed us a chart like the one pictured above. I remember having a visceral dislike of that chart. I also remember hoping my child never ended up on the bottom. He was a “spirited” child so I could immediately imagine all the behaviors that would land him in trouble. The chart was anxiety-producing for me as the parent. I can’t imagine how it feels for young people.
I have spent years working with adults who work with youth both in day schools and in afterschool. Time and time again I am asked to provide behavior management training. I know that what people really want is a way to support young people in developing their capacity to manage their own behavior. Where we miss the mark, though, is creating external tools for behavior management rather than focusing on intrinsic understanding and development.
Traditionally, behavior management systems have been designed to control student behavior. However, these systems are outdated and often ineffective. Behavior management charts like the one pictured demonstrates an emphasis on rewards and punishments. Instead, a more human-centered approach focuses on understanding the root causes of behavior, fostering positive relationships, and emphasizing guidance over punishment. In this post, we will explore why traditional behavior management systems are flawed and advocate for a more empathetic and individualized approach.
Behavior management systems are structured approaches designed to promote positive behavior and address challenging behaviors in youth settings. These systems typically involve a set of rules, procedures, and practices aimed at maintaining order and discipline. However, the very foundation of these systems is built on control and compliance, which can overlook the deeper needs and individual differences of students.
The phrase "behavior management" inherently suggests a need to control or manipulate student behavior to fit a desired norm. The concept evolved from the theory of behaviorism 100 years ago. In essence, psychologists at the time believed that behavior could be conditioned through rewards and punishment. Psychologist John Watson said “Any person, regardless of their background, can be trained to act in a particular manner given the right conditioning.”
How does it make you feel when you read that?
This approach neglects the underlying reasons behind a child's actions. Behaviors often signal unmet needs, and managing behavior without understanding these needs is short-sighted.
Example:
Imagine a child who frequently disrupts your program by speaking out of turn. Traditional behavior management might involve giving the child a warning or a timeout. However, a more understanding approach might reveal that the child is acting out due to anxiety or a need for attention. By addressing the underlying cause—perhaps by giving the child more positive attention or addressing their anxiety—the behavior can change in a more meaningful and lasting way.
"Management" implies a hierarchical relationship where the adult is the manager, and the child is the subordinate. This creates a power imbalance where children lack voice and choice. Shifting the focus from management to partnership and collaboration fosters more positive, trusting, and respectful relationships between adults and young people.
Example:
Consider a situation where a child refuses to participate in a group activity. A behavior management approach might be to force the child to join or punish them for non-compliance. Instead, a collaborative approach involves sitting down with the child to understand their reluctance and finding a compromise or alternative that respects the child’s feelings and autonomy, perhaps by offering them a different role in the activity that feels more comfortable. In this example we prioritize youth agency over adult power.
Traditional behavior management strategies often rely on rewards and punishments. While these methods may yield short-term compliance, they do little to instill long-term values or intrinsic motivation.
Example:
If a child “behaves” during an activity, a traditional reward-based system might give them a sticker. If they don’t, they might lose outside time or be threatened with a call home. Instead, a guidance-based approach involves discussing the root causes of the behavior and the impact on others, thus fostering a sense of responsibility, self-awareness and internal motivation.
Every child is unique, and a one-size-fits-all approach common in behavior management systems doesn't account for individual differences. Factors such as temperament, developmental stage, culture and personal experiences significantly influence behavior. Advocating for an individualized approach means considering each child's specific context and needs.
Example:
Two children might exhibit the same disruptive behavior but for very different reasons. One child might be acting out due to a difficult home environment, while another might be bored because they are not interested in the activity presented. An individualized approach would address these distinct needs differently—perhaps through relationship-building for the first child and new and varied activities for the second. In this approach, each child feels seen and appreciated for who they are.
Given the limitations of traditional behavior management systems, it's essential to shift our focus to a more modern approach that emphasizes understanding, empathy, and individualization.
Instead of merely controlling behavior, adults should strive to understand the root causes of students' actions. This involves looking beyond the surface and considering factors such as mental health, home environment, and developmental needs. Effective behavior management systems should first prioritize understanding these underlying issues.
Moving away from a power-based dynamic to one of partnership and collaboration fosters trust and respect. When students feel valued and heard, they are more likely to exhibit positive behavior and engage in everything an afterschool environment offers.
Punishment may yield short-term compliance, but it doesn't teach long-term values or skills. By focusing on guidance and support, adults can help students develop self-regulation, empathy, and a sense of responsibility. This involves using positive reinforcement and constructive feedback to guide behavior.
Recognizing that each child is unique requires a tailored approach. This means being flexible and adaptable in strategies, considering each child's specific needs and circumstances. Individualized plans can address specific behavioral issues while supporting overall development.
Adults in afterschool programs need training to shift from traditional behavior management systems to this new approach. Many adults want a new approach, but don’t have the knowledge. Professional development should focus on creating positive environments and understanding and supporting youth behavior.
Involve students in the process of creating a positive environment to ensure they feel ownership and accountability.
Building strong partnerships with families, day schools and communities is essential. Regular communication and collaboration can help align home, school and afterschool approaches, providing a consistent support system for students. This alignment can reduce disruptions and negative behavior.
Traditional behavior management systems are outdated and often ineffective. By shifting our focus to understanding, empathy, guidance, and individualization, we can create educational environments where students feel safe, valued, and capable of growth. This approach not only addresses behavioral issues more effectively but also fosters the development of independent, thoughtful, and empathetic individuals. As adults, it is our responsibility to embrace this modern approach and ensure our young people thrive emotionally, socially and academically.
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